


What You're Really Fighting For

by thepoeticflower



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, well happy-ish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 02:46:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11705190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepoeticflower/pseuds/thepoeticflower
Summary: Just a little post 2x18 fic, in where Alec dives into work to ignore the Magnus-sized void in his life.





	What You're Really Fighting For

The Nephilim were born into a life of fighting, bred to be soldiers from the moment they entered the world. Shadowhunters trained and fought to maintain a weak semblance of peace while discontent brewed exponentially. They spent their entire lives constantly surrounded by arrogance, being fed rhetoric of their superiority to the Mundanes they sought to protect and to the lowly Downworlders. Their angelic blood supposedly meant something grand in the scheme of things, something that those of demonic blood couldn’t ever hope to achieve. 

Alec rolled his eyes as he set down the official Clave document he finished reviewing. His stomach churned uneasily from the thinly veiled hate for those who weren’t Shadowhunters. Similar documents had been landing on his desk more often than their usual daily occurrence with the buzz of a Downworld uprising on their hands. The Clave wasn’t necessarily hiding their plans to punish those who even thought of breaking the accords. And despite all of his current contempt for those in Idris, Alec couldn’t feign ignorance for he too held those prejudices for far too long and only begun stripping himself of such ugly thoughts after Magnus entered his life.

His breath hitched before he leaned back in his chair, his long legs stretching out to where his feet brushed against the front panel of the desk. The thought of Magnus hollowed him out, leaving an ache only subdued by falling in line with his birthright. Alec needed to be the leader that his kind needed, the emotionless and headstrong soldier he had been before all of this had happened. Would it stop him from scoffing at outlandish comments about downworlders? No, of course not. But at this point, distraction was key. Distraction made his mind stop wandering to morning kisses to his chest as the beautiful man draped across him slowly awoke. It made it bearable to rise one day after another in a cold, sterile bedroom he had once thought to be idealistic. No frills or fuss, just a bed, a dresser for his things, and a desk. The first time he had been in the loft, it seemed almost gaudy to his senses, but it had quickly become home. No,  _Magnus_  had become his home.

He knew they would find their way back to each other again, drift into what they were when things settled. Two people who loved each other as much as they did would always fall back into place, side by side. 

A soft throat clearing from the door drew him back into the present, away from his memories. (He hated that all he currently had were memories.)

Izzy came into the office, a folder in her hands. Alec held open his hand to accept it but she wrenched it back, maneuvering it behind her back. “Not until you talk to me. You can convince everyone else that you’re fine and they’ll buy it or respect your privacy, but this is getting ridiculous, Alec. It’s been weeks.”

Alec heaved a sigh, giving Izzy a look reserved specifically for her when she was pushing boundaries. “Like I told you before, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“I told you to not let him push you away. And that’s exactly what you’re allowing to happen.” Her accusatory tone diminished as the concern in her eyes shone through. Naturally, his sister had his best interest at heart, but she didn’t understand that Alec didn’t want to continuously think about what transpired.

Alec clenched his jaw, drawing in a breath as he unwillingly found himself thinking about that night again. The desperation he felt as Magnus told him that he couldn’t have both Alec and the ability to lead his people. In that moment, nothing made sense and perhaps, nothing still did. Nothing but throwing himself into his work, quelling his desire to take off in a sprint across the city until he reached that familiar building, not stopping even after a burning sensation set into both his lungs and legs until he could see Magnus somewhere other than his dreams.

He stood up, more to steady himself than to seem intimidating, “There’s a war brewing and whether we’ll be able to pull together the Shadowhunters and the Downworlders to defeat Valentine and Sebastian or not, there is still going to be war. As simple as it should be, it isn’t. Our biases concerning each other are still heavily looked down upon. There’s so much stacked against us and our relationship.” He licked his lips, looking down briefly, trying to hide whatever flicker of hurt he knew was there. “You can’t deny that. He may have made the decision, but I am upholding it because he’s right. Right now, we can’t have each other and command of our people.” Weeks of stony silence, not even so much as the smallest text or even a blip of Magnus on his extended radar left Alec to rely on his common sense. They were doing the right thing for the right reasons. The distance and the silence and the loneliness, it was all for the right reasons in the end. Even if this all felt alienating and wrong whenever he sat long enough to let their most intimate moments invade his mind, letting emotion cloud his judgment wouldn’t change anything. 

Isabelle handed over the folder, her expression unreadable as she headed toward the door. “Just don’t close yourself off, Alec. Focus is excellent, but don’t forget what you’re really fighting for.” Her words echoed in his ears long after the clicking of her heels in the hallway vanished.

He  _knew_  why he was fighting. To assure the survival of the Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike. Placing the folder down, he dove into work again, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him to stop oversimplifying things.

* * *

The relative stillness erupted into chaos in a matter of days. Despite all of their training and preparation, a nervousness settled into Alec’s bones as they geared up as quickly as they could. Perhaps, fear described the situation better; fear that their fighters wouldn’t be enough, fear the Downworlders wouldn’t aid them. Realistically, they had no reason to, but this city belonged to them as much as it did the Shadowhunters.  

Another fear remained in the forefront of his mind, taunting him with a chest-tightening anxiety. Of course, the loss of his siblings had been a constant for years now, any time they went out to battle demons. But even as he glanced around the room at Izzy and Jace, his mind drifted to another person and time.

 _Magnus laughed, but the fondness in his expression kept Alec’s embarrassment almost at bay._ Almost _. The redness trickled into his cheeks as his head ducked in its usual manner._

 _“You needn’t worry about me like that ever, Alexander. I could decimate a demon while giving myself a manicure.” The playfulness did little to curb the worry Alec had when concerning Magnus’s well-being. High Warlock of Brooklyn or not, Alec_ loved  _him. Cared about his well-being above his own, which wasn’t unusual for Alec with those that he loved._

_“I can’t just not worry.” Alec gesticulated as he spoke until Magnus scooted closer on the couch in one smooth motion, covering his hands with his own, steadying them._

_Magnus leaned in, pressing the softest kiss to his lips, “I know. You’ll be gray before long.” He teased, his eyes glancing up as if to look for those hairs._

_“Hey,” Alec said with a warning tone and a screwed up expression, trying to keep a smile at bay._

_“Never fear, darling, you’ll definitely be a silver fox.” Magnus laughed at the confused expression Alec gave him before leaning in once more for a kiss. “I always appreciate your concern. But I’ve survived for a very long time.” The wistfulness seeping into his tone seemed to speak both of the time Magnus lived before Alec and probable time he’d live long after Alec was gone._

_They had avoided the immortality talk mostly and Alec didn’t relish having it now. Not with the chances of a war in the imminent future. They needed to survive all of the death and destruction that would surround them in the upcoming months. Then he’d worry about grays and wrinkles and all of the things that came as one aged and all of the things that came with having a lover who didn’t._

_“Still going to worry.” Alec grumbled a bit before pouncing on him, tackling him down into the couch and attacking him with open-mouthed kisses._

_As Magnus’s fingers tangled up in his hair, tugging ever so slightly, Alec could have sworn he heard a breathy ‘thank you’ among the appreciative noises._

Alec shook his head, pushing away the memories of what he considered an easier time as he adjusted the placement of his quiver. 

Magnus would be out there. Even if the rest of the Downworlders turned their backs to what was happening, Magnus would be there. The thought both terrified and exhilarated him. 

He jerked his head toward the door when all of the movement in the room stopped and everyone filed out of the room, nothing heard other than the quick movement of feet as they rushed to head into the streets of the city. 

They encountered their first pack of demons merely two blocks from the Institute. Alec quickly reached for an arrow, aiming for a demon and making the first kill before the rest of them rushed past him, preferred weapons raised and ready to strike. In quick succession, Alec launched his arrows in the direction of demons, feeling nothing as they disintegrated into charred ash. When the amount of demons seemed more manageable, Alec took a group of Shadowhunters with him deeper into the city, following the screams of unknowing Mundanes.

Magnus’s presence was felt long before Alec spotted him, the glow of his cat eyes somehow brighter than the red, angry magic flowing from his fingertips. The demons kept charging in and the constant flow of magic just kept coming, ticking them off in groups at a time. It was mesmerizing; seeing Magnus’s power always was. 

Sometimes, Alec unintentionally forgot all of the power Magnus possessed. When they were soft and sleepy with tangled up limbs after what was proclaimed as the best sex of their relationship (an ongoing ruse after every time they made love), when they were so entirely mundane, he’d forget the power the man beside him had within him.

Alec shot an arrow into a demon mere feet from Magnus when his magic wavered in the slightest bit. Whether the cessation was from exhaustion or from the challenge of letting the demons in closer before sending them back to hell, Alec couldn’t tell. Their eyes met despite the hundred or so meters that separated them. Alec felt his lips quirk upward into a smirk despite himself before shooting off more arrows, feeling more alive than he had in weeks. At some point, they wound up in close proximity, Magnus’s magic buzzing around him as he concentrated on taking out their common enemy one arrow at a time. 

It could have been hours or merely minutes before the demons were gone, just piles of ash standing in their place. Alec didn’t realize they were standing nearly back to back until Magnus slumped against him in the slightest. 

“Are you okay?” Alec murmured only loud enough for Magnus’s ears. 

The responding laugh, one colored with exhaustion and fondness was all the answer he needed. 

As they stood, back to back, without another word being spoken, Izzy’s words came back to him. _‘Don’t forget what you’re really fighting for.’_ He was fighting for this, this right here. The privilege of being beside Magnus after a long tiring fight, whether it be a physical one or otherwise. 

Alec mumbled, as he turned around, placing a hand on Magnus’s shoulder, “There will always be a war. A mission. A problem to solve. Look, I speak from experience. If you fail to grant time for the things you care about, you’ll forget why you’re even fighting at all.” Magnus’s words to him all of those weeks ago flowed from his lips effortlessly.

“Alexander…” Magnus’s tone sounded weary as he turned around, no glamour to hide his eyes.

“I’m fighting for you–” He stopped short, feeling frustration like he always did when he felt his words wouldn’t suffice. “ _For us._ ” Testing the waters, he reached up and cupped Magnus’s face. When he didn’t flinch or pull away, Alec brushed his thumb along his jaw. “When I’m out here, I am doing whatever I can to ensure our future together. When I’m at the Institute, the same applies. Is it selfish? Ye–”

“No.” Magnus cut him off, his expression soft. “It isn’t selfish. Everyone has a motivation for why they fight. Selfish would be not fighting, not taking charge of the situation, not standing up for what you believe in. You’re anything but selfish, Alexander.”

Alec leaned in, forgetting that other people existed, let alone were still milling around, and pressed his forehead against Magnus’s, looking into his eyes, “I’ve missed you.”

“Have you?” Classic Magnus, flirty and playful. He closed his eyes and sobered, “I’ve missed you too.” Magnus closed the space between their lips, leading them into a slow, careful kiss as if they were new lovers once more. Just like the battle, that kiss could have lasted minutes or hours. Alec’s perception of time didn’t exist whenever Magnus was near. 

“Come home with me, Alexander.” Magnus whispered after they broke the kiss, their lips only centimeters apart. “I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I can’t promise things will resume normalcy yet, but I can offer tonight.”

It was progress. And if it was only for the night, it would be more memories to hold Alec through until tomorrow could be promised. “Let’s go home, Magnus.”

Sliding his hand into Magnus’s, they took the long way back to the loft. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. You can find me over at [my tumblr](http://asexualalexanderlightwood.tumblr.com). It's really nothing more than a reblog blog now. C'est la vie.


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